I saw a post on Facebook recently which said something like ‘thank the autumn leaves for showing us how to let go..’
This really touched me so I thought I’d use this blog to explore this a little further. Letting go can be really tricky as there is often at least one reason why we tell ourselves that we need to hang onto something (or someone). And we can tell ourselves that if we let go..we might never get that thing or person back. We tell ourselves that it will be final. Which may or not be true yet it can seem very scary to us. What may be more important is if we ask ourselves ‘does this benefit me anymore?’ or ‘how much does this benefit me anymore?’ as life is rarely linear or straightforward, there may well be positives as well as negatives about the thing or person we are considering letting go of. It may be worth considering ‘What do I gain by holding onto this?’ and leading on from this ‘what might I gain if I free up some space for something or someone else?’
As a constantly growing and evolving human being, what is good for us and what works for us is not static, it changes as we do throughout our life stages, which is why looking at what and who we have around us and what we do is something we can choose to be curious about and question. Does this job/hobby/activity give me what I need as I am now? And if not, what would it be like for me to let it go? Is it possible to let it go, is it a responsibility or is it something I need to keep for now but with a view to move on when I can. It is all very well to ditch a job that we hate but we need to plan what is going to replace it and consider our financial and security needs first. We all have autonomy to a certain degree, but there are limits in life that we might need to accept.
However, if we can let it go…what is stopping us? What is the resistance and what thoughts and feelings does it tap within us. How resistant to change and the uncertain are we? What does spontaneity and risk really mean to you? Does it feel like a threat to our status quo and/or do we feel fear? What would it be like to take a risk and let go of something that doesn’t feel right anymore and make changes which might enable us to feel happier? Just like the Autumn leaves that leave the tree that has sustained them, they detach and float away. How about you…is it time to let go?
A counsellor can help you consider and explore your feelings about change, resistance to change and taking risks/making positive changes. Greater self awareness of what you really want awaits..