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This hot summer…

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How are you doing?

It certainly has been a hot summer so far and changes such as weather conditions can have an effect on our mood and energy levels. What emotional, physical or spiritual changes have you picked up upon, that you have been experiencing, since the weather has been unusually hot? Perhaps you have had trouble sleeping in this weather and this has left you feeling drained, tired and maybe irritable.

Noticing differences between ourselves and the image of summer that is portrayed in the media of happy smiley people at the beach eating ice lollies, we can start to compare ourselves and despair. Why don’t I feel/or look like that? Which can lead to the even worse negative thought of ‘What is wrong with me?’ It is important to hold onto a realistic view of ourselves, and make time to notice our positive attributes.  If, like the majority of people, our life does not revolve around bikini wearing days in the sun, but perhaps instead long days at work and hot sticky journeys home on public transport, then it is important to hold these differences in perspective and acknowledge that life can be challenging but our resilience to this is where our power can lay. Perhaps building into our day, every day, at least one thing that brings us joy can be useful in enabling us to keep our mood out of the low zone.

Maybe, you haven’t been able to exercise as much in the heat as you would have liked to. If exercise is one of the ways you use to ‘feel good’ than this can be a frustrating time and negatively effect our mood  Perhaps, like me, much of your exercise comes about by walking the dog and in this heat that has had to be curtailed. If getting outside for fresh air is important to your mental wellbeing, it may be an idea to find time for a 10/15 minute stroll in the evening, even if all you feel capable of is sitting in front of a fan drinking a cool drink. And talking of drinks, hot weather can easily lead to over consumption of alcoholic drinks. That extra trip or two to the beer garden, or that BBQ where the ice cold beer and/or prosecco flows can be lots of fun, but overdo it and it can lead to dehydration and a much worse hangover than normal..and if you add to this a heightened state of irritability caused by disrupted sleep then this could lead to difficulties in how we manage ourselves, our work and our personal relationships. Re-hydrating ourselves with water can be great self care and make us feel more alert and alive.

Perhaps you have been loving this hot sunny weather, it boosts your mood and you don’t want it to end. Your vitamin D levels are all topped up and you feel raring to go. I’m happy for you and do cherish all those gorgeous memories made in the sun!

For those who wish the hot summer to end, remember that it is a temporary state and it will change. Before you know it, those cosy cardigans with be coming out of your wardrobe and Christmas jingles will be playing in the shops. And then there is the snow.. sometimes we do have to be careful what we wish for!

Wishing you all well this week, Sue x

 

 

 

 

Decisions

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How are you at making decisions? What does the word decision mean to you? What sensations does it create (do you feel) in your body when you think of making a decision, particularly if it is going to involve making changes in your life. Does the idea of change create unease, or resistance or excitement? Or even all these feelings at once. Little wonder it can feel overwhelming at times.

Questioning our decision making ability is something that can be very common, as humans seeking connection with others, we can want to feel ‘significant others’ value our choices. For me also, I want to make decisions that are sound and thought through and based on all the information and experience I have at hand at this moment in my life. But I, like everyone else I know, do not possess a ‘magic ball’ that can predict whether my decision will be the best choice/right/most productive in the future. Essentially many decisions are based on a punt/a risk/a gut instinct yet I will have to take ownership if it doesn’t go to plan and leads to disappointment. It seems understandable that it can seem paralysing and create a climate for  procrastination. And in a fast moving world, it is often not the case that there is the time for deep reflection, sometimes being asked for an instant decision can seem very stressful indeed.

The missing ingredient to being able to make decision making less painful  is often self compassion. Can I accept that I can only make a decision based on the information I have (or have gathered), my learnt experiences, my own felt sense of the situation and what my gut instinct is telling me. To accept that an element of risk is always present and that I cannot 100% predict nor control the outcome. Then I can make a decision knowing,  whether it goes well or not, that I have done all I can with the resources that I have available to me and that is all I can do as a human being. Thus setting myself up to be kind and forgiving to myself if the outcome is less than I would have wanted.

Making decisions can lead to positive changes in our lives and can be an exciting experience. Whilst taking a risk can feel incredibly difficult at times,  to duck important decisions or to avoid change (at all costs) in order to avoid disappointment/failure or disapproval from others, can be stifling for our growth and potential.

Go well this week, Sue

First blog

I am feeling excited but a little nervous about writing my first ever blog.  I  wanted to write this to talk about why I chose ‘space for you’ as the name for my counselling services. For me, a part of the process of starting counselling is about agreeing to take some time for you, to find some space for you. I know that I have struggled to always do this in the past, and some of my clients often tell me that they find it difficult to believe that they deserve time for themselves, that they are worthy of having a space where they can be themselves and explore what is important to them. For me, being able to offer my clients this non judgemental space where they are valued for being who they are is why I love doing what I do. So ‘space for you’ seemed the obvious choice. Wishing you all well, Sue